What is a good father to the courts?

Submitted by mmendez1978 on Fri, 08/13/2010 - 01:00

Can anyone please explain to me what is a good father to the courts? I have always been there for my children since the day they were born. There mom and I have been together for about 12 yrs, 6 of them have been married with 1 seperated. I should of listend to my friends and family when they told me that she never actually loved me. The whole relationship was a mess before we even got married, but I had the never to listen to my heart. We went to court for custody in april of this year and we were given joint physical custody. Our kids have always been taken care of by my grandmother (their great grandma) since birth. Since she left me, she still always took the kids to my grandmother to be watched since I dont get up till noon becuse of working till 3am. All I do everyday is spend time with my kids. Always try to be there by 1pm so that way we get to spend enough time together before I leave for work @ 4:30pm. Plus they are with me every weekend all weekend long Friday thru Sunday. . Additionally I have always been there to provide all 3 meals for my children everyday and I have always made sure they had good clothing to wear. Everytime I have gone shopping for them, they have always gone with me. Their mother even during the marrige has never taken anything to my grandmothers for the care of our children. I have always supplied eventhing. To be honest the kids have a better relationship with me then with their own mom. They have even told me that they wish their mom spends more time with them like I do. Between the end of june and the beginning of august she took me for child support and the court is basicly giving her almost 90% of my net each month....yes i know that doesnt sound right but I have the court papers that says I have to pay 2 different amounts to her. This system is so screwed, I have provided proof that I have always taken care of my kids, but just because she says I am a deadbeat they mark me and treat me as one.

There is a difference between Domestic Relations and the courts. DR is only concerned with identifying a father and getting money. This is not to say that some payers aren't mothers. The majority of payers are fathers. DR is not, officially, involved with custody issues; though, some local agencies offer help in finding affordable legal representation for the custodial parent. Their responsibility is to get money for the custodial parent no matter what the circumstances. It is unfortunate that we have local agencies, which recieve federal funding, participating in such inequitable practices. The moment that a mother walks into the DR office, the father of the child(ren) is demonized. It is also unfortunate that we (fathers) have to spend a lot of money for legal representation in a court system that is gender biased in favor of mothers. Read as much as you can on this website and others. I know that the federal mandate for child support is 50% of net pay if you have other children in your home, 55% if in arrears; 60% if you do not have other children in your home, 65% if in arrears. Look at www.child-support-laws-state-by-state.com. There are many information resources available to you. Please, look around and help yourself because DR will not, lawyers that draw their livelihood from a certain courtroom and judge will not, special interest groups will not - especially under the current administration, etc. Educate yourself before you make any legal moves!!


Wed, 10/13/2010 - 18:58

A good Father to many of the courts is a guy who gives the ex everything including the kids and most of his money. Sorry, that's just how it is. =(