I am a 49 year old mother who raised two children pretty much on my own. I was married to a laid back guy for 9 years and we have a 23 year old daughter. I met a man who was 10 years older than me and had been divorced for 17 years (A BIG RED FLAG), he had a daughter who he had no relationship with since she was about 15 years old he ran her up her locker by her throat after a basketball game because she would not listen to him yell at her for not HUSTLING at the game. He was extremely controlling and when I became pregnant wanted me to have an abortion. We finally married when our daughter was 3, and he made sure that I understood that he was not a babysitter. I was not allowed to go anywhere without the 3rd degree and a child at my side, and a wedding ring. He was verbally, emotionally and phyically abusive to myself our daughter and my daughter (who moved out when she was 19). I did not know he had physically abused the kids until My daughter told me after she moved out. I finally left after Aimee the 13 year old (10/29/2011) punched me. She had become verbally and at that point physically abusive. I hit her on the bottom with an empty clothes basket and called the Sheriff's department for Juvenile assistance. My ex-husband took her and left in the truck and they told the police a lie. I was charged with child endangerment and left. I have had no contact with this child since then. I had a Joke of an attorney (I had not ever had any legal problems until then), and after giving my attorney all of the logs of the abuse that had occurred and names of witnesses, at our divorce trial he told me 5 minutes before the trial that if I did not voluntarily relinquish custody of the child that I would have to pay for the guardian ad litem (that I had requested because I asked for a mental evaluation of the child and the ex-husband, which never occurred). I am an RN and I have been diagnosed with PTSD after 16 years of abuse, I am unemployed, no health insurance and starting all over with a crappy rental home, no belongings ( what I could get in clothes baskets with deputies watching). I was ordered to pay $1,017 per month in child support and have heard all of the mean things said about me in front of this child (that I am crazy, and have had numerous affairs all lies). The child has repeated these statements and has said that she is ashamed of me, this is all very hurtful. I either want custody and child support modified or I want to voluntarily terminate parental relationship and obligation so that I can move on with my life. I was portrayed as a monster in the divorce, although the ex's lawyer pointedly told me that I was a Great Nurse! If I can't be trusted with a child I raised I should not be allowed around anesthetised patients (I am an OR nurse). I can not afford to pay that exhorbitant amount of child support, it is hard to work and I am applying for disability and medicaid to rehabilitate myself after this disasterous relationship. Advice please!