Thanks for reading.
I had two children with a girl who I was with for 5 years. We seperated and at the time lived in North Caolina. I moved back to my home state which was Virginia. She opened a child support care in NC, which contacted Virginia. I went to court in Virginia and she came. I was ordered to pay child support through the courts in Norfolk. She told the judge at that time that she was not working which indeed she was. I was working two jobs, both for my family one was my full time job and the second I was working to pay off a debt from some money I owed them. They were helping me pay off the debt by allowing me to work it off but on paper it showed I made an additionla $500 per check. Either way when the DCSE worker pulled my employment report from VA that is what they based my support on this was 6 years ago. I have since went back to court twice to try and have my case checked again as I went through a bankruptcy and could not afford to pay the amount ordered. My family closed their business and I became unemployed. I did not apply or unemployment ( whih now seems to be big mistake) and when I went to court the first time, the judge said sorry I am not going to lower it "Find a better Job" at that time I took a job making $14 and hour which was considerably less than what I made working for my family. They owened a bowling center and I was head mechanic not an easy job to replace unless someone builds a new bowling center in the area. I continued to struggle and pay my child support while raising 2 children from my current wife. I paid what I could and averaged about $4000-$6000 a year in payments even on $14 an hour. I went and requested the courts lower my support a second time. When I went to court pay records in hand, the judge said he could not lower my support as the mother had to be in court. However I do not know where she lives and have not seen my kids in over 4 years. I stated you can find her to send her money why not to come to court? This is causing me a huge hardship. She said best I can do is order your arreages to be paid at $20 a month, however I can not change your current order. I left again feeling helpless. I do not have the money to hire an attorney track her down and find her. My wife and I lost our home, and pretty much everything we had had both vehicles repossesed. We moved to where my wife is from Oklahoma, present day about 2 months ago. She was offered a decent job out here and I found a job making $13 an hour which was better than anything I could find in VA. I am back up to $6k in the red with Virginia Child support and they are now requesting me to come back to VA in July for court saying I violated my court order and as the letter reads to go to jail. I am at the point where sitting in jail seems like a better idea then trying to constantly try and rob peter to pay paul and figure this out every month. I have already paid $2500 this year to VA child support and NC keeps taking whatever money I have from Tax refunds etc. Virginia says I owe about $1500 more than NC says. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. I am not a dead beat dad, I believe in paying for your children, however the system is broken and no one seems to care.