Father who might have to move home, outside USA

Submitted by Notns on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 17:44

Hi, I am looking for advise on what my legal rights are if I leave a marriage?  I am not in a high paying job so if I leave the marital home I believe my only way of paying for my living expenses and child support / alimony is to move home to my own country to work (back to my parents), which is outside of the USA.  My wife excludes me from as much of my sons life as she can and any time I question anything I'm told to mind my own business.  To make life easier for my son I try not to push the issue too much as it upsets him too much to see us arguing.  But the situation has become unbearable and the only reason I've stayed for as long as I have is because of him.  My son is 5 years old. 

The questions I have are:

1) What rights will I have regarding access if I leave?

2) Will those rights change if I leave the country?

3) Can I get a court order or make it a legal requirement that I can take my son home to my home country to meet his and my family?. My wife is currently refusing to travel to my home country to let him meet my parents and extended family such as his first cousins.  When my parents visited here a few years ago she treated them so badly they were considering changing their flights home.  This was the one and only time they have met their only grandson.  My dad is about to turn 80 and all I want to do is to bring my son home to meet his family, but she won't allow it.  The reason she gives is "why should she". She has a strained relationship with my family but they treat her respectfully for my son's and my sake.  They are prepared to endure anything from her in order to get her to visit with my son. 

4) If it makes any difference, I am not a US citizen but I have a green card.  Would I lose my Green Card if I moved home, even though my son would stll be resident in the US?  Would I be able to travel back to see him without difficulty?

5) Another major issue for us is my wife has opened credit card accounts in my name that i know nothing about or doesn't tell me about but I am always liable for payment.   I've been told by her that she doesn't care about our debts as she'll never be liable as the cards are in my name.  She has done it a few times and has a few different cards in my name.  I don't understand how she can keep opening accounts in my name without asking me!  

I would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation or anyone who can help? I don't have any contacts whatsoever over here, and I don't have any money and I really need some help.

Thanks in advance to any replies.  

You'll always be your son's father so you'll always have rights.  Custody schedules are always temporary because parents' circumstances often change, like yours. 

1. So before you move away, explain it to the courts then ask for what ever schedule you can do, to maintain access.

2. Your rights as a father never change but child custody schedules can.

3. Explaing this to courts is slow and arduous.  They want to see evidence that you can be trusted across borders.  So think of how you can gain trust.

5. Tell the three big credit agencies that you don't want new accounts open.  Tell any open accounts to close them.