mother wont let me see my daughter

My daughter is now 3 years old. I took care of her by myself the first two years of her life while her mother didnt do anything. Her mother took her from me just before she turned three. I have been trying to see her ever since and her mother keeps giving me excuses on why she cant come shes either too busy has plans or something. She is having my daughter call her new current boyfriend daddy, has started  complaining to my girlfriend that i am in my girlfriends kids life but not my daughters and when i tell her ive been wanting to see her she again she makes up more excuses. I'm wondering what I can do to see my daughter. Im trying to stay away from court for many reasons. One court will take too long and i dont want to miss anymore time than i have already, two I dont want to pay child support to her because i dont trust that she will spend it on my daughter but will use the money on herself. Its not that i dont want to help support my child I have offered to buy the things she needs and my ex tells me no she wants the money to buy the stuff...I dont see the difference in me buying it for her and that is one of the reasons why I dont trust it will go to my daughter. Any ideas on what I can do so that I can see my daughter as soon as i can. this is a mother state and it seems that i am in a tough spot because i am also wanting my daughter more then just weekends. If anyone has anything that could help me out please let me know. Thank you

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