Custody order not followed help needed

Hi, I am new here and went to court for custody rights and partner says son does not want to see me so order is not followed..Have not seen son since Oct.2012. Have many police reports and lawyes wouild love to help with more money. Is there a way I can file myself in Buck County? Or do I need to continue with lawyer for protection and go more broke?? Even if I win. I still will not get him and another vilolation. it never ends and it hurts to have child think the worst of you and you have nothing with him...any suggestions on this battle that never ends??   

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